


A Clean Getaway

by Esperata



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Gotham (TV)
Genre: Body Positivity, Chubby Oswald Cobblepot, First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 18:30:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18900235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esperata/pseuds/Esperata
Summary: Riddler leads Penguin through an unconventional escape after a heist but they then find themselves stuck in an awkward situation.





	A Clean Getaway

**Author's Note:**

> A silly something I found in my drafts.

Their escape was successful if not exactly dignified. Or at least partially successful.

Edward had tumbled out of the laundry chute first, having relied on Oswald’s instinct to follow him rather than his ability to persuade Penguin. He was momentarily gratified therefore to see his assumption was correct as Oswald dropped out of the chute after him. Then the man landed on him and his gratification dissipated.

There was a degree of colourful cursing from both of them, hampered in Edward’s case from a lack of breath from having been unceremoniously squashed, before they both quieted to listen for sounds of pursuit. They each tried to calm their heavy breathing as they strained their ears but eventually it became clear no-one had thought to look down here for them.

Edward let out a sigh of relief and focused his attention on the heavier man practically straddling him.

“You can get off me now,” he prompted.

Oswald started slightly as he apparently realised the intimate position they’d ended up in and hastened to comply. However his face twisted into a grimace as he made to rise.

“What is it?” Ed asked at once, hands instinctively clasping round Oswald’s waist to steady him as he arched in obvious discomfort.

“My leg.” Oswald grit his teeth as he manoeuvred more to his other side. Edward held him firmer to help. “I think it got bumped a bit too much in the fall.”

He suddenly dropped down onto Edward again with a curse.

“The damn laundry keeps shifting!”

It was true that the piled fabric had softened their landing considerably but it was now hindering their attempts to right themselves.

“Alright, alright,” Ed tried to sound soothing. “Maybe if we roll over?” he suggested.

“You may not be able to see from your position,” Oswald conceded with a nonetheless irritated tone, “but there’s a wall to one side and a rather precipitous drop down a mound of dirty linen to the other. I have no wish to roll down that.”

The expression of distaste clear on his face was indication enough to Edward that he wouldn’t be convinced on that point and it wasn’t like he could physically shift the man himself without leverage. Edward could only assume what might be visible from Oswald’s superior vantage point.

“Well, use the wall for support then,” he concluded.

Oswald turned his dubious gaze to the wall and assessed the possibility. Finally he reached out a palm and began trying to ease himself up again. Edward helped as best he could with his grip around the ample waist but it didn’t prevent Oswald slipping back.

“Your hands are probably sweaty,” he commented.

“Yes, thank you!” Oswald snapped, nevertheless wiping his palms across his thighs before trying again.

There was little Edward could do but watch him. Oswald had that determined look on his face that many people had learnt to fear but which he’d always found vaguely invigorating. There was also a pink flush across his cheeks, either from the current exertion or their previous dash. He was parting his lips as he concentrated on inching his way up as well which was… distracting.

They both let out a huff of breath as his attempt failed again and he dropped down. However now he was intent on success and was not going to be dissuaded or put off. He immediately began prising himself up again.

Edward found his own cheeks beginning to flush. With nothing else to occupy his mind he couldn’t help but notice the obvious innuendo apparent in Oswald’s movements. The slow rise and fall practically in Ed’s lap, the warmth of soft flesh beneath his fingers, the look of ardent concentration… in other circumstances…

He swallowed hard as he fought to prevent himself reacting. Now was not the time. He needed to at least verbally acknowledge his feelings for Oswald before they could get to a more collaborative version of this.

His efforts were not helped by Oswald sliding back further against him, clearly tiring even as he determinedly reached out to pull himself up again.

“Oswald,” Ed murmured.

“I’ve… nearly… got it…”

Indeed Oswald had almost reached enough height to free himself from Ed’s embrace and Ed hoped perhaps he could still escape with some dignity intact.

Then Oswald fell back heavily, whole body crushing into Ed’s, hands clasping onto his shoulders to save their faces colliding as well.

“Damn it,” he muttered, letting his head rest down on Ed’s shoulder momentarily.

Whether it was the rush of breath across his neck, or the sudden docility of Oswald resting in his arms, but Edward knew he was seconds away from cracking his calm and logical demeanour. Then Oswald broke any resistance he had left.

“I’m sorry I’m like this Edward,” he mumbled into his collar bone. “Fat and broken and-”

Ed finally lost the battle with his emotions and wrapped his arms tightly round him.

“Don’t say that! Don’t _ever_ say that.” Giving up on subterfuge entirely he pressed a kiss to the man’s temple. “You have _nothing_ to apologise for.”

Oswald raised his head with a confused frown.

“Edward?”

Riddler threw all caution to the winds and clamped his hands round Oswald’s cheeks.

“You are beautiful Oswald. You are fierce and independent and a manipulative bastard and I love you. _All_ of you.”

He inhaled abruptly as the reality of what he’d just admitted rushed over him and he watched Oswald’s stunned face apprehensively. Oswald was for once lost for words, his mouth moving vaguely as he tried out various sounds but ultimately saying nothing.

“You… love me?” he eventually echoed.

Ed felt a wave of relief at the innocent tone.

“Yes.”

His relief was apparently premature as Oswald’s face darkened appreciably.

“And you chose _now_ to tell me! Perched on top of a heap of dirty laundry with my leg aching and the police looking for us!”

“I-”

He got no further in his explanation before Oswald was kissing him with determination. Caught off guard by the lustful assault, all he could do was try to keep up until Oswald pulled away with equal rapidity.

“You owed me that,” he said almost petulantly.

Ed nodded as he licked the feeling back into his lips.

“Alright,” he agreed. “But how about we try that again with us both taking part?”

The suggestion won him a smile and Oswald leant down much more carefully to meet Edward’s waiting lips. This kiss was much better. Tasting and teasing each other as hands began to roam and Edward clean forgot where they were.

Which was why it came as a shock when he went to roll himself into a more comfortable position and found they were continuing to roll down the little slope. They both yelped in alarm and clutched each other tightly until the tumbling stopped.

As they caught their breath once again, Riddler smirked as he realised he’d wound up exactly where he wanted to be – spread-eagled across Oswald. Folding his arms on the other man’s chest he grinned down at him.

“Guess that solves that problem huh?” He was quite happy to pretend it had been his plan all along if it meant he didn’t have to admit he’d plain forgotten their precipitous situation.

Oswald didn’t look so pleased about the proclamation.

“You tricked me,” he accused. “You just wanted to get me to roll down through that smelly mess.”

Riddler’s smug grin faded into a soft smile and he leant down to rub his nose alongside Oswald’s.

“No. What I wanted was to kiss you. And then preferably take you home so we could kiss some more. We can do that now we’re down.”

Oswald sniffed derisively.

“I will do nothing of the sort until I’ve bathed and changed. I’m sure I must reek after that disgusting journey.”

“You smell fine from here.” Edward pointedly inhaled at a spot just beneath his ear before sitting himself back up. “But I’ll happily help you wash if you want.”

His salacious smile brought a pink flush to Oswald’s cheeks again.

“Well… I may need some help getting up,” he agreed, with an unconscious lip lick.

Edward immediately bounced to his feet and briskly caught Oswald’s hands, hauling the other man upright. He made sure not to release the hands he now held captive.

“Anything else I can help with?” he asked, arching an eyebrow for emphasis.

“Perhaps some support out to the car?”

Oswald was trying to hold back his own smile but couldn’t resist batting his eyelashes. Riddler responded enthusiastically.

“Why of course!” He wrapped an arm snugly about Oswald’s waist and pressed himself in close. “Your wish is my command.”

As they began to walk slowly out of the dim little room, Oswald hummed happily and rested his head on Edward’s shoulder.

“Do you know, I think this is our most successful heist yet.”

Edward grinned and placed another kiss to his head.

“I certainly got everything I wanted,” he agreed.


End file.
